And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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