walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
