let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
