Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
