thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Randomize
