Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
