don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
