After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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