I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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