I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
