return my video game
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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