i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
