We need to rekindle our bromance
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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