Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
