I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
