So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
