So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
