I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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