I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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