I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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