maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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