Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
