My hand turned me down
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
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