carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
