I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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