Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
