He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
