Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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