foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
