Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
