Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
