you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
