Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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