It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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