At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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