Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
