He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
