The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
