The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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