I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
