So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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