I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
