Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
a search helicopter?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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