It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
