Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
