well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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