My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
