i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We left the knife in your bed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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