love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
