I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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